Speak Up, Respectfully

Mom reached for Grandma’s sixth book. Finn noticed something different about it. “This one looks worn.”

“It is,” Mom said. “Grandma used this one almost every day.”

Pearl looked surprised. “Every day?”

“Almost.”

Tide leaned closer. “What did she write about?” Mom opened the cover. Across the first page, in Grandma’s familiar handwriting, were three simple words: Speak Up, Respectfully.

“So... Grandma wanted everybody to talk?” Tide asked.

“Not exactly,” Mom said. “She wanted everybody to listen.”

The children looked at one another. “Listening?” Finn asked.

“Respectful conversations begin with listening.”

Tide frowned. “What if people don’t agree?”

Mom smiled. “Grandma used to say you don’t have to win every conversation. You only have to make it a better one.”

Pearl thought about that. “What if the other person is wrong?”

Mom smiled. “Ah. One of life’s great inconveniences. They may be thinking exactly the same thing about you.”

Finn laughed. “That’s why we listen,” Mom continued. “We can disagree with an idea without treating the person who believes it as an enemy.”

Tide looked worried. “What if I’m nervous?”

Mom reached over and squeezed his little hand. “Grandma believed courage isn’t talking the loudest. It’s speaking kindly even when your knees are shaking.”

“So brave people can be scared?” Finn asked.

“Oh, yes. Most brave people are.”

Pearl leaned forward. “What if somebody is mean?”

Mom paused. “You can’t choose how another person speaks. But you can choose how you respond.”

“So I shouldn’t be mean back?”

“You could,” Mom said. “It just wouldn’t improve the conversation.”

Pearl grinned. “Grandma really thought of everything.”

“She certainly tried.”

Finn remembered Grandma’s first book. “The bears can’t come to meetings.”

“No.”

“The turtles can’t.”

“No.”

“The little birds can’t.”

“No.”

Pearl smiled. “Maybe that’s why people should.”

Mom smiled back. “I think Grandma would have liked that answer.”

Grandma’s Thought for Today

Speak kindly. Listen carefully. Ask respectfully. Learn together.

Because communities become stronger when neighbors talk with one another instead of about one another.

Pearl’s Question

“If everybody listened first... would there be fewer arguments?”

“Probably not,” Mom said. Pearl blinked. “Really?”

“People will always disagree. Listening doesn’t make disagreement disappear. It helps us understand what we’re disagreeing about.”

Tide considered this. “So listening doesn’t keep people from arguing?”

“No,” Mom said. “But it can keep a disagreement from becoming a fight.”

Pearl smiled. “That seems useful.”

Mom laughed. “Grandma certainly thought so.”